Fragmento
de CRAVE (Ansia), obra por Sarah Kane (1998)
“And I want to play hide-and-seek and give you my clothes and tell you I
like your shoes and sit on the steps while you take a bath and massage your
neck and kiss your feet and hold your hand and go for a meal and not mind when
you eat my food and meet you at Rudy's and talk about the day and type up your
letters and carry your boxes and laugh at your paranoia and give you tapes you
don't listen to and watch great films and watch terrible films and complain
about the radio and take pictures of you when you're sleeping and get up to
fetch you coffee and bagels and Danish and go to Florent and drink coffee at
midnight and have you steal my cigarettes and never be able to find a match and
tell you about the tv programme I saw the night before and take you to the eye
hospital and not laugh at your jokes and want you in the morning but let you
sleep for a while and kiss your back and stroke your skin and tell you how much
I love your hair your eyes your lips your neck your breasts your arse your
And sit on the steps smoking till your neighbour comes home and sit on the steps smoking till you come home and worry when you're late and be amazed when you're early and give you sunflowers and go to your party and dance till I'm black and be sorry when I'm wrong and happy when you forgive me and look at your photos and wish I'd known you forever and hear your voice in my ear and feel your skin on my skin and get scared when you're angry and your eye has gone red and the other eye blue and your hair to the left and your face oriental and tell you you're gorgeous and hug you when you're anxious and hold you when you hurt and want you when I smell you and offend you when I touch you and whimper when I'm next to you and whimper when I'm not and dribble on your breast and smother you in the night and get cold when you take the blanket and hot when you don't and melt when you smile and dissolve when you laugh and not understand why you think I'm rejecting you when I'm not rejecting you and wonder how you could think I'd ever reject you and wonder who you are but accept you anyway and tell you about the tree angel enchanted forest boy who flew across the ocean because he loved you and write poems for you and wonder why you don't believe me and have a feeling so deep I can't find words for it and want to buy you a kitten I'd get jealous of because it would get more attention than me and keep you in bed when you have to go and cry like a baby when you finally do and get rid of the roaches and buy you presents you don't want and take them away again and ask you to marry me and you say no again but keep on asking because though you think I don't mean it I do always have from the first time I asked you and wander the city thinking it's empty without you and want what you want and think I'm losing myself but know I'm safe with you and tell you the worst of me and try to give you the best of me because you don't deserve any less and answer your questions when I'd rather not and tell you the truth when I really don't want to and try to be honest because I know you prefer it and think it's all over but hang on in for just ten more minutes before you throw me out of your life and forget who I am and try to get closer to you because it's beautiful learning to know you and well worth the effort and speak German to you badly and Hebrew to you worse and make love with you at three in the morning and somehow somehow somehow communicate some of the overwhelming undying overpowering unconditional all-encompassing heart-enriching mind-expanding on-going never-ending love I have for you.”
And sit on the steps smoking till your neighbour comes home and sit on the steps smoking till you come home and worry when you're late and be amazed when you're early and give you sunflowers and go to your party and dance till I'm black and be sorry when I'm wrong and happy when you forgive me and look at your photos and wish I'd known you forever and hear your voice in my ear and feel your skin on my skin and get scared when you're angry and your eye has gone red and the other eye blue and your hair to the left and your face oriental and tell you you're gorgeous and hug you when you're anxious and hold you when you hurt and want you when I smell you and offend you when I touch you and whimper when I'm next to you and whimper when I'm not and dribble on your breast and smother you in the night and get cold when you take the blanket and hot when you don't and melt when you smile and dissolve when you laugh and not understand why you think I'm rejecting you when I'm not rejecting you and wonder how you could think I'd ever reject you and wonder who you are but accept you anyway and tell you about the tree angel enchanted forest boy who flew across the ocean because he loved you and write poems for you and wonder why you don't believe me and have a feeling so deep I can't find words for it and want to buy you a kitten I'd get jealous of because it would get more attention than me and keep you in bed when you have to go and cry like a baby when you finally do and get rid of the roaches and buy you presents you don't want and take them away again and ask you to marry me and you say no again but keep on asking because though you think I don't mean it I do always have from the first time I asked you and wander the city thinking it's empty without you and want what you want and think I'm losing myself but know I'm safe with you and tell you the worst of me and try to give you the best of me because you don't deserve any less and answer your questions when I'd rather not and tell you the truth when I really don't want to and try to be honest because I know you prefer it and think it's all over but hang on in for just ten more minutes before you throw me out of your life and forget who I am and try to get closer to you because it's beautiful learning to know you and well worth the effort and speak German to you badly and Hebrew to you worse and make love with you at three in the morning and somehow somehow somehow communicate some of the overwhelming undying overpowering unconditional all-encompassing heart-enriching mind-expanding on-going never-ending love I have for you.”
“Y quiero jugar a las escondidas
y regalarte mi ropa y decirte cuánto me gustan tus zapatos y sentarme en el
borde de la bañadera mientras te bañas y hacerte masajes en el cuello y darte
besos en los pies y llevarte de la mano e irme con vos a cenar y que no me
importe que comas de mi plato y encontrarme con vos en el Rudy’s y hablar del
día y tipiar tus cartas y llevar tus cajas y reírme de tus paranoias y regalarte
discos que nunca escucharás y ver películas buenísimas y ver películas malas y
quejarme del programa de radio y hacerte fotos mientras dormías y levantarme
para prepararte café con tostadas y pancitos y salir con vos a tomar un café al
Florent en medio de la noche y dejar que me robes los cigarrillos y que nunca
tengas fuego y contarte lo que vi en la tele la otra noche y acompañarte al
oculista y no reírme de tus chistes y desearte por la mañana pero dejarte
dormir un poco más y mientras darte besos en la espalda y acariciar tu piel y
decirte cuánto me gusta tu pelo tus ojos tus labios tu cuello tu pecho tu culo
tu
Y sentarme a fumar en la escalera
hasta que vuelva tu vecina y sentarme a fumar en la escalera hasta que vos
vuelvas y preocuparme cuando te atrasas y asombrarme cuando te adelantas y
regalarte girasoles e ir a tu fiesta y bailar hasta quedar negro y estar triste
cuando me equivoque y feliz cuando me perdones y mirar tus fotos y desear
haberte conocido desde siempre y sentir tu voz en mis oídos y sentir tu piel
contra mi piel y tener mucho miedo cuando te enojes y se ponga un ojo rojo y
otro azul y tu pelo hacia la izquierda y una cara de oriental y decirte estás
precioso y abrazarte cuando estés ansioso y abrazarte más cuando sufras y
desearte sólo con olerte y abusarme al tocarte y gemir cuando esté a tu lado y
gemir cuando no esté a tu lado y babear sobre tu pecho y envolverte toda la
noche y sentir frío cuando me quites la manta y sentir cuando no lo hagas y
derretirme cuando sonrías y desintegrarme cuando rías y no entender por qué
creés que te estoy rechazando cuando no te estoy rechazando y preguntarme cómo
podés pensar que yo sería capaz de rechazarte a vos y preguntarme quién sos
pero aceptarte igual y contarte acerca del ángel del árbol del niño del bosque
encantado que voló sobre el océano porque te amaba y escribirte poemas y
preguntarme por qué no me creés y tener un sentimiento tan profundo que no
encuentra palabras y querer comprarte un gatito y sentir celos de él cuando
reciba más atención que yo y retenerte en la cama cuando te tengas que ir y
llorar como un bebé cuando finalmente te vayas y vaciar los ceniceros y
comprarte regalos que no quieras y llevármelos otra vez y deambular por toda la
ciudad pensando que sin vos estaba vacía y querer todo lo que querés y pensar
que me estoy perdiendo a mí mismo y saber que con vos estoy a salvo y contarte
de mí mismo lo peor e intentar darte lo mejor porque vos lo merecés y contestar
tus preguntas cuando prefiera no hacerlo y decirte la verdad cuando en realidad
no quiera e intentar ser honesta porque sé que vos lo preferís y pensar que
todo se acabó pero aferrarme allí durante diez minutos más hasta que me eches
de tu vida y te olvides de quién soy e intentar acercarme a vos porque es
hermoso aprender a conocerte y el esfuerzo vale la pena y hablarte mal en
alemán y peor en hebreo y hacer el amor con vos a las tres de la madrugada y de
alguna de alguna de alguna manera comunicarte algo de ese amor abrumador
arrasador incondicional omnipresente y sempiterno que enriquece el corazón y
libera la mente ese amor eterno y presente que siento por vos...”
Sarah
Kane (3 de febrero de 1971
- 20 de febrero de 1999) fue una dramaturga y directora
teatral inglesa. Es considerada como una de las autoras de culto a
escala internacional, una figura clave del llamado in-yer-face theatre. Se suicidó
con 28 años recién cumplidos.
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